Running Fast and 8 Personal Needs

Okay, so I wish I was actually physically running fast, but it's more my life that is just running fast!  Sometimes almost too fast, to the point of not being able to keep up!  I really can't even tell you what has been going on the last month that has been so time consuming that I haven't had time to write!  I guess I'll just have to chalk it up to school and taking care of 4 young children! 

Oh, one milestone we have reached in the last week is that Ammon has started crawling!  He still isn't super fast, but I'm not giving it much time before he is going everywhere!  He has started to put EVERYTHING in his mouth, so I spend a lot of time trying to keep the floor clean.  It is amazing how much the vacuum can miss!!  Of course, the vacuum can't do anything about siblings sharing their OREO cookies with him at any rate!  One thing that I am grateful for, knock on wood, is that so far Ammon has been pretty good at not really choking on things.  Isaac was the worst, and I swear if anything touched his lips he was choking on it!  NOT good for the nerves, especially our nerves!! 

I haven't been very good at actually writing about things I'm learning in school, so I decided to include something in this post.  In learning to know ourselves better, and in our efforts to balance the different aspects of our lives, we need to know ourselves.  Researches have found that there are at least 8 needs that must be met if people are to feel happy, satisfied, and fulfilled.

1. Develop a positive picture of themselves.  We all have weaknesses and shortcomings that we want to overcome, but focusing on these weaknesses in an obsessive way only makes us depressed and can lead to untrue thoughts of ourselves.  Instead, when you find yourself thinking negative thoughts of yourself, try to replace those thoughts with positive ones, such as "I am a good friend, I can be trusted, I'm kind, I'm spiritual, etc".  This kind of talk is called positive self-talk.  Inner conversations can have a powerful effect on self-concept, so make a conscious effort to turn negative thoughts into positive ones!

2.  Develop close real-love relationships.  All people need to have close real-love relationships in order to feel worthwhile and to feel like they belong.  Real love and real relationships build; they never destroy.  It is kind, giving, unselfish, and sometimes unconditional.  Counterfeit love is manipulative, selfish, and conditional upon performance instead of worth as members of the human family.

3.  Feel like they belong.  Get rid of all conditions you place upon yourself, such as : I won't feel like I belong unless I'm popular, or unless I get a raise at work, wear the nicest clothes, etc.  These are mind traps, and you stop them by consciously not allowing yourself to think in this way.

4.  Receive the respect of others and themselves.  People have a real need to be honored and to be held in high regard, both by themselves and by others.  If you have to choose between popularity and self-respect, always choose self-respect.  It is miserable to be respected and liked by others, but not like or respect oneself.  Be true to who you are and what you know.

5.  Feel worthwhile by developing a healthy self-esteem.  When you are alone with you, have you ever asked yourself the question, "Do you love me?"

6.  Feel competent.  We all need to feel that we are good at something.  What are you good at?  Social and emotional skills such as showing kindness, making good moral decisions, and showing compassion and forgiveness may be less noticeable than other skills, but they are just as critical, and maybe even more so, to feeling competent.

7.  To experience growth.  Stretch, learn, and climb out of your comfort zone and try something new!  Learn a new hobby or skill.  Improve your home, or start a collection.  Volunteer or work in your yard.  Read books or learn how to cook something new!

8.  To feel safe and secure.  People need to feel some degree of safety and security. 

Once you understand how these needs relate to yourself, expand your thinking to realizing that everyone you know has these same needs that need to be met, and recognize how you can help them to reach these needs for themselves.  Also, work or other responsibilities also have these needs, and recognizing that can help you to be a better employee/person in how you deal with these responsibilities if you are conscious of meeting these needs for others as well.

This information came mostly from the text book, "Balancing Work and Family in the Real World" written by Victor W. Harris, a professor in Family Life Studies at Utah State University.