Good News!

Isaac was accepted into the Syracuse Arts Academy, which is a local charter school, this coming school year when he starts kindergarten!  We are very excited about this!  We have tried to get Eden into this school since we moved here, but for those of you who don't know, most charter schools have a lottery process, and we haven't been lucky enough to get picked thus far.  Even for next year, only Isaac's name was drawn-we put down the option of having our kids individually accepted.  Eden is actually registered for the Utah Virtual Academy, another charter school, for next year.  This is actually a public school, but online.  So, basically I just help her do the work that a real teacher plans and gives her.  She actually has a teacher that we stay in contact with, mostly through email.  We feel like this is a perfect fit for Eden at this time, and I'm so excited and relieved that all the school pieces are falling into place for us!  And, because Isaac will be in the Syracuse Arts Academy next year, the following year, anybody from his family gets first dibs in placement for that year!  That means that EmmaLee will be able to go there (she is suppose to start kindergarten that next year), and even Eden will be able to go there if she wants to by then!  So, it's a great time to be getting our foot in the door!  Who knows if we will actually still be living here by then, but if we are, at least we'll be in!

So, moving on to communication styles.  I will first talk about Small/Shop talk.  Small/Shop talk are the pleasant ways couples use to connect and to exchange routine information. 

Small talk is the light conversation or chit chat about everyday things.  While this way of talking may be commonplace, it is exceptionally important for staying connected and confident with each other.  The intentions of small talk are to: connect, update, enjoy each other, maintain harmony, and stay in touch.  The intention is to be: friendly, pleasant, sociable, playful, and available.  The mood is: relaxed, contented, calm, comfortable, and peaceful. 

This style:
-Facilitates comfortable "comings" and "goings," connecting and disconnecting.
-Supplies an initial sense (visual and tonal) of how well each partner is doing.
-Allows each person to synchronize, "get up to speed," with the other by reliving the day's activities, events, and challenges.
-Provides a way of simply being together, sharing activities, and enjoying each other.
-Can be used to cover, skirt, deflect, or avoid dealing with an unresolved issue.
-Lessens, (or disappears) when couples experience: Severe or continuous conflict; Extended pressures or stress, for example, from extensive work schedules.

Impact of Small Talk:
-Relaxes and refreshes a relationship.
-Sometimes lightens a tense mood and eases pressure.
-Keeps conversations on an ordinary, surface level.
-Fosters annoyance if the other person wants to go to a more serious or deeper level.

Your Small Talk as a couple demonstrates that you are connecting with and enjoying one another.  Without it, as time passes, you grow distant.

Shop Talk is the conversation about tasks and necessary details of living.  The intention is to: inform, monitor activities and schedules.  It is intended to be: responsible, cooperative, and productive.  The mood is: polite and occupied.

Impact of Shop Talk
-Handles routines or informs of changes in the maintenance of your life.

Shop Talk keeps things moving and organized, but if that's all there is for you as a couple, your relationship lacks vitality.

Next time I will talk about Control, Fight, and Spite Talk.