This Sunday is Caydin's Angel Day. It's probably one of the hardest days for me because no matter how hard I try I tend to get hit with waves of bad memories of the accident, starting on the 27th first thing in the morning and all the way through till the 28th around 4:00 when he finally passed away. I try to remember that it was his "graduation day" when he officially passed his test and I think about what an amazing spirit he really is, but it is still hard on these days to not think about "this is what I was doing at this time", or "this is when this happened". Needless to say, it is a very emotional week for me.
And, I guess I have to be honest and say that I might not fight the memories or thoughts as much as I should because in a way, I actually want to have them. It will be 6 years this year since Caydin passed away, and my memories of him seem to get more and more blurry and dreamlike with each passing year. It is a bitter/sweet thing because it is how I am able to cope and survive what has happened, but it hurts to forget so much too.
So, that is where this request is going to come in. I don't get to make new memories with my son at this time, and I feel I have relived and rehashed my own memories over and over. I really would like to have some fresh views this year to remember Caydin with. I would really love and appreciate stories from others about Caydin. And, I don't mind if it's broad enough to even just be lessons learned from hearing about Caydin, or experiences you've had because of either him or knowing about him and his story. Even if it's sad, I WANT to hear it! One of the hardest things about loosing him is just how time seems to stop in regards to him! I don't get to make new memories of him, good or bad, and sometimes I just miss him so much that even the sad stories of him are cherished because they are about HIM! I have also heard stories in the last few months of family members experiences during his accident time that were very enlightening, and were very fascinating to hear! I really do want to hear what others thought or experienced during any time period!
So, please, if you have any thoughts you wouldn't mind sharing with me, please send them! If you would feel more comfortable emailing them to me, that is okay too! My email is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Survived Week One
6 days ago