So, I had another ultrasound today to see if my placenta had moved up or not, and it has, by a whole inch or two! The baby is sitting really low, which had me more worried this last month, but the placenta itself is attached in a place where it shouldn't cause a problem with the c-section! It's funny because the baby was so low that the tech couldn't see something she was looking for because the baby was sitting so low and wouldn't move his head. The doctor had to come in, they had to lay me back and slightly upside down, and the doctor had to push (through my stomach) the baby's head down so they could try to get a measurement! The baby has felt so low compared to all my other pregnancies, especially this many weeks still out from my due date, and now I know I haven't just been imagining it! I don't think I will "drop" towards the end this pregnancy because there isn't anywhere lower to go!! I didn't get any cute pictures at this ultrasound because he's getting big enough that he's pretty cramped in there, and he was face down, and even after all the prodding and pushing, he refused to turn or look up! He is head down, and like I said, sitting pretty much as close to where my hip connects with my leg as you can go! So, it was a huge relief to find out that his position won't complicate the delivery, and now I just have to wait roughly 7 1/2 weeks and I will get to meet this little guy! Now if we could just decide on a name!!
March is flying by! To start with, EmmaLee got a new haircut the beginning of this month, by me, the poor thing! She has a horrible habit of twisting her hair when she is tired or nervous, and as a result, she has literally pulled a lot of her hair out of her back, left side of her head. So, she was looking like she was going bald. It didn't help her look that the other side had nice, long, lush hair, so it made the left side stand out even more! So, I finally had had enough, and I got the scissors out and cut her hair! Not the best job, but it looks so much better than it did! Another event this last month was that Eden lost her 2nd tooth! It was her other bottom front tooth, so now she can do all sorts of amazing things, like stick a straw through her mouth when it is shut, etc! Apparently the tooth fairy was deceived when she came and Eden was still awake and saw her shawdow on the wall. At first, she thought it was mom, but after talking about it, it was determined that the shawdow was of a taller, skinnier person, who wasn't pregnant! I guess the tooth fairy had better come much later from now on! Even though I didn't much care for "The Toothfairy" with Dwayne Johnson, it sure came in helpful trying to talk through this event!! St. Patrick's Day has never been a big event either one of our families have celebrated, but this year, Rob and I wanted to do something fun for the kids. So, we went and bought a few big balloons filled with helium, got a fruit bowl, and got our fishing poles out. What any of this had to do with St. Patrick's Day, I don't know, but the kids had fun! We had a little picnic in the backyard, and then attached the balloons to the end of the fishing poles. Then the kids took turns casting their balloons into the sky, and then reeled them back in! We did loose one balloon that came off, but the kids had a good time! This last week we have been doing a "staycation" as well. First we went to the zoo, which was fun to see the new baby elephant! The next day we went to the Clark Planetarium and watched a 3-D movie about animals under the sea, and when that got over, we went to the Living Aquarium, where we got to see many of the animals live that we had just seen on the big screen! We are having to postpone some of our activities now till next week due to the weather, but we are still planning on going to the Dinosaur museum, and a train museum, as well as go fishing at a fishing pond! So, that about covers our month so far!
In the years since Caydin passed away, I have been able to meet a lot of other people who have also lost a child, in different ways. One of the ladies I have met is named Molly. I have felt particularly close to her because she lost her little daughter at about the same age, and to choking. They were leaving church when her little girl choked on a bit of apple literally the size of a pea. She had to be life flighted to Primary's, and they actually had to do surgery to get the apple out. She was on life support for a few days before she returned to Heaven. Molly is an amazing person, and she has started a website called A Good Grief, www.agoodgrief.com. This website is not just for those who have lost children, but for anyone who has had to go through grief of any sort, including divorce, unemployment, loss of a loved one, etc. Just a few weeks ago, she was featured on Good Day Utah (I think-it was one of the Utah morning shows!). Along with her website, she has set up a charity to help pay for headstones for families that can't afford them. Because her website is only a few months old, she has already received more requests for assistance than she has funds for. That is why I am writing this post, to ask any who might have even just a little to spare to consider donating to her fund. When Caydin passed away, my whole life changed in an instant. I don't even know how to describe the emotional condition I was in for the weeks following his death. The shock that was there that first week made the whole rest of the world feel alien. On top of all the emotions of just trying to deal with what had happened and get through a funeral and learning to live the rest of my life here without my sweet boy were by far the most difficult thing I've ever been through, or hope to ever go through. On top of all that was the shocking realization of how EXPENSIVE the funeral costs were. For those who don't know, here is an estimate of some of the costs: $350 for the obituary; $2000 for the casket; $1500 for the mortuary costs (and that was a discounted price because he was a child); $850 for a cheap, small headstone; $350 to have the headstone put in the ground; $50 for burial clothes; $500 for basic flowers for the funeral; and the list can go on, including any medical bills for whatever happened before the death! It is overwhelming to have to deal with loosing your loved one, and then to have such a financial burden added to that is hard, especially for the death of children, which is almost always unexpected, and happens to young couples who usually aren't really well established financially at that time in their lives. With Caydin, we were so blessed to receive so many kind donations from friends and family, and were even able to receive help from our church. Not everyone has that option. Even with help, it took us 10 months to get Caydin's headstone in. In the months where he didn't have one, I felt so bad; it felt as if he was forgotten. I often thought of the pioneers who had to bury their loved ones on a trail, and never got to go back and visit. I have an ancestor on my dad's side of the family who, while sailing to America, lost first one child that had to be buried at sea, and then just a few days before reaching America, lost a second child. She couldn't stand to bury him at sea as well, so she hid his body till they reached land, and then took him ashore and buried him there. I know death is not the end, and this frail human body is not where we end our journey. The spirits of those who have gone on continue to live, and their bodies are mere shells. But, as a mother who has lost her child, it is so difficult to completely let go of that body, especially when it is all you have left of that loved one! To honor that person where you can feels so important! One of my biggest fears, and I think a lot of people's biggest fears who have lost loved ones, is that they will be forgotten. So, when you have the opportunity of being able to bury your loved one at a cemetery, that spot becomes sacred ground. I am no longer even closely haunted by cemeteries. But, to go there and not even have a marker recognizing the spot of the final resting place of your loved one is very sad! No, it is not necessary, but emotionally it is so meaningful and healing to the people who loved that person. It is their way of honoring and remember their loved ones. So, you can see why this topic is close to my heart, and that is again, why I am asking anyone who can afford even just a little, to donate to Molly's charity so she can help families to have this comfort in a time where there is very little comfort for them. You can read more about Molly and her experience and her charity by going to her website, which again, is www.agoodgrief.com. And again, I do know her personally, and I know every dime donated goes directly to her charity to pay for the headstones. Thanks for listening to my long post!
Kids say the funniest things! We had just sat down together as a family for dinner. I was busy helping dish out food to the kids when Isaac out of the blue asks me, "Mom, can I touch your hotness?" Startled, I looked at him to see what he meant, and noticed he was staring at my plate of food, which still had steam coming off of it and realized he wanted to touch my food!
Here is a list of questions from an actual employment quiz Rob just completed today. This is not the first time he has had to take quizzes like this. We've always thought they are kind of funny, and a bit ridiculous, and thought that this time we would share! With these questions, you were suppose to answer with a Strongly Agree, Agree, Uncertain, Disagree, or Strongly Disagree. We never get through them without laughing out loud! And, this is a very small portion of the quiz. They ask several of the questions with slightly different wording many times! Hope you enjoy like we did!
Selling illegal drugs to your co-workers is okay as long as they can afford to buy them.
There are many things about people that really annoy me.
There is nothing wrong with using illegal drugs on the job if it helps you to relax and do a better job.
I have never been angry with anyone.
As long as you don't get greedy, it's okay to take small amounts of money and/or merchandise from your company without permission.
Anyone who says they have never used illegal drugs while at work is lying.
It doesn't hurt to steal company property if the company has lots of money.
Failure is something that I've never experienced.
Giving illegal drugs to your co-workers is not as bad as selling illegal drugs to them.
It is okay to give or sell illegal drugs to your co-workers as long as it isn't taken to the extreme.
When I hear a person who claims they have never stolen anything, I don't believe them.
It is only fair to steal from your employer to make up for low wages.
I am basically suspicious of people in positions of authority.
I have never driven faster than the legal speed limit.
I firmly believe in taking advantage of others before they take advantage of me.
Today is my father-in-law's, Helmut Fischer's, birthday. I miss him. This picture was taken on a trip we took with Rob's parents 2 months before Caydin passed away. Caydin and his Papa were very close, as were Isaac and Papa. All the kids loved him, and he was so patient good with them; taking them on little walks outside, watching them play in the sandbox, and letting them find his "teeth" (partial dentures) in his front pocket, to name just a few things they did together! These last two pictures were taken just a few weeks before Helmut passed away. We had gone on a drive up to Silver Lake with Rob's parents and walked around with them. It was a peaceful and enjoyable day! I miss him, and I know all his family miss him and his gentle, kind way of keeping things in perspective! Happy Birthday Helmut, we love and miss you!
So, this come a week late, but on March 1st, it was Rob and my's 8 year anniversary! We were actually out celebrating when I got the call about my Grandma Dickey which is why it's taken extra time to finally post this!
I am so grateful for my sweet husband! We have been through a lot together, and I understand how people can say they are more in love now than before! He is my best friend! He is so sweet to me and takes such wonderful care of me. I'm so grateful that we are able to be completely honest in everything with each other; I trust him completely! We are able to share our dreams and fears, sorrows and joys, and are able to work together in everything we do. He supports me and I support him in all of life's challenges. We make our decisions together, with understanding of how the other feels. Neither one of us are perfect, but I know we can and will be able to overcome and get through anything! We've already done so much together, and I'm so grateful that he will be at my side as we still have so much to accomplish! I love you Rob!
I am a wife and mother of six beautiful children! My oldest child and son passed away on August 28th, 2005 when he was 2 1/2 after a choking accident the day before. We miss him, but know he's in a better place and will always be looking out for his family! I am currently in school at USU online working towards my Family Life Studies degree and hope to one day be a marriage and family educator. Life is busy with five growing children to take care of, but we're having fun and learning as we go!