Fall Fun

So, before the snow came, we managed to go visit a few places. Hopefully the warm weather will come back for a little longer so we can go visit a few other places before the sledding season starts!

We went with my mom and youngest brother and sister to Gardner Village last week to see all the witches and pumpkin decorations set up. It was a pretty windy day, so it was a somewhat short visit!

We also managed to go visit Wheeler Farm on my sister Laurie's birthday and see the animals, ducks, and of course, a tree house. We took some bread with us to feed the ducks, but my younger siblings started to give it to them before we got to the pond, and soon we were surrounded by dozens of duck and geese! It was pretty funny! Of course, my brother and sister were a bit nervous and decided to "run away"! It was pretty funny!

Catching Up!

Okay, so I realized that the lack of my writing last month meant that I skipped a few events in my life that I thought I would now catch up on!

We blessed EmmaLee last Sunday, which I actually did mention in my last blog, I just thought I would now add a picture of her in her dress! The blessing was beautiful, and the day worked out just fine, inspite of my slight issues preparing for it the week before! I wanted to invite more people to it, but like I said before, I wasn't sure until right before whether it was going to work out or not, so I apologize to anyone that would have liked to have come but didn't get an invitation. Anyone was invited, but I just didn't get the word out!!

This picture isn't actually an event, I just thought I would post a picture of all three of the kids together! EmmaLee is growing so fast, and for that matter, so is Isaac! Eden is too, just not so noticeably on a monthly rate like the other two! Both Eden and Isaac love to hold EmmaLee, and EmmaLee continues to be, for the most part, a good natured baby!

On August 28th, it was 2 years from Caydin's passing. We didn't do a whole lot different on that day this year probably due to the fact that EmmaLee was only a couple of weeks old, so we were still in recovery mode with that, and just trying to adjust to that new change. And, I've decided that's probably the hardest day for me to know what to do or how to feel. I don't like to focus on the accident because it was traumatic and difficult, to say the least, for me, even though I know that for Caydin, it was a glorious day and a completely different experience. I can't ignore that day, so I want to try to focus on his side of the day, but I'm not able to think of that day and not remember his accident, at least not at this time. So, the bigger the deal I make of that day, the harder it becomes. I eventually want to make it a happy day where we can remember Caydin with family in some kind of a happy and positive way, but this year I didn't have the energy for that. And, for me, I think about him and remember him every day of my life, so it's not like I need a special day to remember him by. But, like I said, I can't ignore that day, so hopefully in the future I'll be able to more fine tune how to handle that day! Till then, I love and miss you buddies!!

So, another event I haven't mentioned yet is that we bought a van in September! When I realized this last summer that we were going to have to get a van to fit our family once EmmaLee was born, I wasn't all that thrilled, but I started to get excited for it because of all the convienences it would bring, the first being that we would at least all fit! So, we started looking, and eventually found this Toyota Sienna for a pretty good price. We've really enjoyed having it and the extra space it gives us! It surprised me how full the van already feels with three kids! I think a lot of it is the space that the car seats take up. Eden has the back bench seat to herself, so I put her in the middle, but her car seat is bulky enough that the other two seats are still a little smaller than you would think. Two children (like Thomas and Laurie) fit just fine in them, but it would be a tight squeeze for two adults! Eden is actually big enough to go into a booster seat, but she still likes to fall asleep sometimes on rides, and her car seat is more comfortable for that. Anyway, I'm very grateful for our van! Now we just need the Sonata to sell!

Finally, I thought I would mention that Melanie moved up to Utah State to start school. I can't believe she's already in college! Even though it's been several years since I've been to school, I still think of myself as college age, especially since I still plan on trying to take some classes to try to get my degree, at least as soon as I don't have so many really young kids! I guess everybody is really still college age since you can go at any age, but it's still weird to think that if I was still single, Melanie and I would be in the same social boat! She's even met some guys up there, one of them only a year younger than me! It's weird to think that she could get married anytime now, and start having kids, and be in the same part of life that I am! Up till now, she's always been my younger sister who was much younger than me (but not as young as my other sister!), and now she's "catching up" with me! It's amazing how as you get older, age gaps really seem to shrink! I hope any of that is understandable to anybody besides myself! Anyway, Melanie has grown into a beautiful woman, and I'm so proud of her and all she has accomplished! I love her to death, and hope she finds happiness and success in all she does!
So, I think that about wraps up any major events in the last month. My brother and his son both celebrated their birthdays in the last month, which was fun. Rob's two brothers also celebrated their birthdays, so it was a busy birthday month for us! This month is my youngest brother and sister's birthdays as well, so it's been a good couple of birthday cake eating months!

Mommy Blues

I don't have any pictures to upload today, but thought I would write anyway. It's been a long week or two for me! I came down with a cold and stomach cramps about a week and a half ago and didn't feel well for several days. It didn't help that I still have been having some afterbirth cramping, so I really just didn't feel well! But, with three little kids, it's not like I could really take a day off! So, only a couple of days after getting my cold, Isaac came down with something nasty and was throwing up for three days! It was weird, though, because the first day, he only threw up once! The next day he threw up 3 times, randomly spaced, and the last day he only threw up once! He also never ran a fever, so I have no idea what was wrong with him! But, he hasn't been totally normal ever since he had it last week. I think he's teething as well, but he's also pulling at his ears, so I might be taking him into the dr's tomorrow to get them checked. Anyway, Rob ended up getting the same cold and stomach cramps that I had, so he was pretty sick as well for some of the week. We blessed EmmaLee on Sunday, but I was debating up to the day before whether or not to go through with it because everytime I thought we were all better, something would happen, and I wouldn't know if we'd all really be healthy enough to go through with it! Plus, since we'd been sick the whole week before, I wasn't able to get out and get much ready for it! In fact, I wanted to find a bow to put in EmmaLee's hair, but didn't get around to looking for one until Saturday. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, but after going to three stores and not finding anything, I started to panic a little! I had plans to go to women's conference with a friend of mine, and I was suppose to be picking her up in like 20 minutes, and I was still running around trying to find a bow! I finally went to a fabric store and bought some lacy elastic so I could just make her a bow! I could only find buttons with some flowers on top of them, so I bought those planning on sewing or glueing them on! But, I realized that I have "misplaced" my sewing kit, so I finally gave up and just used a bow I had all along. I would have planned on using it in the first place, but I blessed her in the dress I was blessed in, and age has turned it slightly off white, and the bow I used was totally white. Oh well. It still looked cute, and I realized in the end that it was just more important and special that she was getting a blessing! So, anyway, things were sort of calming down, but now Isaac has been crying randomly again for the last two days, and like I said before, we might be getting his ears checked tomorrow. I have to admit that I'm getting really worn out. It seems like there's been no recovery from last week, and before last week it's like I've had no chance to recover from having EmmaLee! I've had cramps almost everyday since I've had her, and I think I'm hitting a breaking point! I didn't mention that because of our sicknesses last week, one night I was up with a kid till 3 in the morning, went to bed, only to get up with a different kid at 4, not to go back to bed until after 6! That next night, EmmaLee was up until 2:30 with tummy cramps, so I think I'm still trying to recover from lack of sleep! Oh, and I had to take EmmaLee into the doctor about a week ago as well because she has this funny breathing thing that makes her breath really loud and sounds like she's struggling for breath. Turns out that she is totally fine, just a small esophagus, or something like that and she should grow out of it. But, I've had a bunch of people ask me if she was okay, and I don't blame them, but I don't know if it's post partum hormones or what, but I'm sick of people asking! I think it makes me second guess whether or not she's really okay, and I don't like breathing issues with my kids! So, on one hand I feel like holing up in my house for a while, but at the same time, I'm sick of being stuck here in our basement and feel like I'll go crazy if I don't get out! But, I get out and suddenly Isaac starts crying like crazy, or people ask about EmmaLee, or the kids just act crazy anyway and I go nuts and can't wait to get them home! Because Rob started his new job, we won't have insurance until December, so it's hard that we all got sick right now because any medical bills are coming at full cost out of pocket (or in a payment plan!) That's hard too because we really want to move out, but need to pay off some debt to make it happen, but instead of paying off debt, we've only been getting more! All my medical bills are coming in from having EmmaLee, and it's not cheap!
Anyway, I'm venting, and I know things will get better. I'm not so far down that I don't realize that some of what I'me feeling is probably post partum blues. This too shall pass, right?!