Mommy Blues

I don't have any pictures to upload today, but thought I would write anyway. It's been a long week or two for me! I came down with a cold and stomach cramps about a week and a half ago and didn't feel well for several days. It didn't help that I still have been having some afterbirth cramping, so I really just didn't feel well! But, with three little kids, it's not like I could really take a day off! So, only a couple of days after getting my cold, Isaac came down with something nasty and was throwing up for three days! It was weird, though, because the first day, he only threw up once! The next day he threw up 3 times, randomly spaced, and the last day he only threw up once! He also never ran a fever, so I have no idea what was wrong with him! But, he hasn't been totally normal ever since he had it last week. I think he's teething as well, but he's also pulling at his ears, so I might be taking him into the dr's tomorrow to get them checked. Anyway, Rob ended up getting the same cold and stomach cramps that I had, so he was pretty sick as well for some of the week. We blessed EmmaLee on Sunday, but I was debating up to the day before whether or not to go through with it because everytime I thought we were all better, something would happen, and I wouldn't know if we'd all really be healthy enough to go through with it! Plus, since we'd been sick the whole week before, I wasn't able to get out and get much ready for it! In fact, I wanted to find a bow to put in EmmaLee's hair, but didn't get around to looking for one until Saturday. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, but after going to three stores and not finding anything, I started to panic a little! I had plans to go to women's conference with a friend of mine, and I was suppose to be picking her up in like 20 minutes, and I was still running around trying to find a bow! I finally went to a fabric store and bought some lacy elastic so I could just make her a bow! I could only find buttons with some flowers on top of them, so I bought those planning on sewing or glueing them on! But, I realized that I have "misplaced" my sewing kit, so I finally gave up and just used a bow I had all along. I would have planned on using it in the first place, but I blessed her in the dress I was blessed in, and age has turned it slightly off white, and the bow I used was totally white. Oh well. It still looked cute, and I realized in the end that it was just more important and special that she was getting a blessing! So, anyway, things were sort of calming down, but now Isaac has been crying randomly again for the last two days, and like I said before, we might be getting his ears checked tomorrow. I have to admit that I'm getting really worn out. It seems like there's been no recovery from last week, and before last week it's like I've had no chance to recover from having EmmaLee! I've had cramps almost everyday since I've had her, and I think I'm hitting a breaking point! I didn't mention that because of our sicknesses last week, one night I was up with a kid till 3 in the morning, went to bed, only to get up with a different kid at 4, not to go back to bed until after 6! That next night, EmmaLee was up until 2:30 with tummy cramps, so I think I'm still trying to recover from lack of sleep! Oh, and I had to take EmmaLee into the doctor about a week ago as well because she has this funny breathing thing that makes her breath really loud and sounds like she's struggling for breath. Turns out that she is totally fine, just a small esophagus, or something like that and she should grow out of it. But, I've had a bunch of people ask me if she was okay, and I don't blame them, but I don't know if it's post partum hormones or what, but I'm sick of people asking! I think it makes me second guess whether or not she's really okay, and I don't like breathing issues with my kids! So, on one hand I feel like holing up in my house for a while, but at the same time, I'm sick of being stuck here in our basement and feel like I'll go crazy if I don't get out! But, I get out and suddenly Isaac starts crying like crazy, or people ask about EmmaLee, or the kids just act crazy anyway and I go nuts and can't wait to get them home! Because Rob started his new job, we won't have insurance until December, so it's hard that we all got sick right now because any medical bills are coming at full cost out of pocket (or in a payment plan!) That's hard too because we really want to move out, but need to pay off some debt to make it happen, but instead of paying off debt, we've only been getting more! All my medical bills are coming in from having EmmaLee, and it's not cheap!
Anyway, I'm venting, and I know things will get better. I'm not so far down that I don't realize that some of what I'me feeling is probably post partum blues. This too shall pass, right?!